11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
