yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
