Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
