His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
