Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!