She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize