I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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