all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
