he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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