ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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