I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
