when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
