The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
