with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
