At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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