R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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