Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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