She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
