That's when you crack a 10am beer
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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