Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
