I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
