What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
