Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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