i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
