there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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