Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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