I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
