drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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