Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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