my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Girls should come with a carfax report
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I wear drunk well.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
