Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize