lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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