I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
