Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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