I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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