I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
