I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
