Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
