Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
