yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize