Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
and she was petting her beer can
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
