never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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