I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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