so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm too high and old for this...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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