Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
