The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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