so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So apparently I’m into choking now
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
