I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
