I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
