Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
one two three fourrrrnication!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
