I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
