Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
