drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
