We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I need a beard to bite.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
