I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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