I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
