I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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