i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
