singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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