We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
